LAB Workshop
Over 3 sessions I had a lovely experience doing a workshop with 7 women from LAB (Leben Aktiv Bereichern). It was a dance workshop where I could actively explore ideas and movement with women over 65 years old. We called the workshop “Dancing Away The Corona Blues” referring to the return to group physical activity after the limitations of the past years. Due to the uncertainty surrounding the Corona virus I held the workshops outdoors in a park.
I’ve always been curious as to how to work with this age group most effectively. It’s not the first time I have given a workshop for this age group, yet every time I do I am positively surprised and fulfilled by what I get out of the time spent. There is so much life experience there to tap into. The gift of working with people of this age is that they are open to try things out with everyone moving in their own way. They know their limitations physically, yet there is a willingness to take things as far as they possibly can. We all have the same inner lust and desire to move and dance and the passion in this age group is very present and real. They have a freedom that, however they move, it’s authentic and a gift.
The thoughts behind my ideas in the tasks and exercises were on themes of physical awareness, moving in different (dynamic) ways, expressing oneself and ones emotions and interpersonal connection in movement. The tasks were set and the execution was left free for each participant.
It was surprising and beautiful to see them dance and how they passionately engaged themselves. There was a genuine care and respect there in the group and the way their eyes opened up as they moved and came to themselves in the time was very special. We had 2 hours in each session, and 2 hours of movement even with breaks is a lot especially at that age. But there was no stopping them!
I am very thankful for the experience and am thinking of ways that I can continue to expand this in a choreographic setting.
Imagination
How do you imagine? If you were given a picture or scene where are you?
Though this concept is not new, as I work on creative expression and interpretation from roles I see how important the awareness and ability to use the different types of imagination is.
We have two types of imagination, 1st person and 3rd person.
In the 1st person I am in the scene/place picture. I explore the world that I create and imagine. I feel, sense, even take part in it. This type of imagination has a deep inner connection to the inner self, me in the moment. I am immersed, aware of my inner impulses and find my way by feel. As I use this type of imagination it is emotional and alive. I would describe it as intense and real. Yet it does have some limitations. I have only one, my own perspective on the image. As it is based on a feeling of me in a situation, for example in improvisation, I find I am hardly aware of what I am doing physically except for its feel. Remembering steps or organising space around me is very tricky.
In the 3rd person I am on the edge looking in. I have a great view of what is going on. I can sense and transpose myself into the scene, but the emotional feeling content is much less attached and its intensity is low. By being outside, I can organise the space, rearrange, move to different places with ease, and view it from other perspectives. I find this makes it more variable and flexible. Personally I am less affected by what actually happens around me and can affect the scene myself.
Both types of imagination are highly valuable. In the first person I am immersing myself embodying and feeling, working from sensation and experience. This helps immensely with role playing, finding impulses, moving with presence. In the third person I am able to create, sculpture with my mind the world around me, organise and arrange. Depending on your definition of choreography, this is where the third person view excels. Having an overview of a scene, seeing relationships between people and objects and being able to affect and compose like a sorcerer.
They also both have their weaknesses as stated above.
It is important to know which type of imagination you are using when trying to find expression in movement. Dancing a role or feeling is definitely 1st person based. Yet I find there is more to it than just that. Dance is different from acting in that it abstracts ideas. These abstractions can be quick to change from one picture to another, one feeling to another within moments. It is because how we move is less concrete and low in gesture.
A concept from Hermann Schmitz that I find addresses this adaptability for expression is thinking of a picture, feeling or idea in terms of atmospheres. Atmospheres are defined by Schmitz as spatially ‘unbounded, poured out and placeless, that is, not locatable’, they are moving emotional powers, spatial carriers of moods.” In essence, the feeling and sensed emotion of a space based on living moving feeling pictures. My thoughts are the benefits of thinking of atmosphere in imagination would be that I can change from one thing in the scene to another on a sensual level. I feel how it is to be in the moment within my surroundings (real or perceived). I can associate, move from idea to idea (rock - water - leaves) and change, develop the scene with freedom.
A theoretical example: Eg. a rainy day. How could you imagine this?
(just one of many possibilities) 3rd person: you see the rain, dull light, shadows. It’s falling everywhere and there is a softness to the picture. Where a person stands or what part of the picture (the rain) not specified, but say I was to transpose this into movement. I would have the different types of rain, maybe a connection to mud and softness, perhaps that it goes on and is constant and the darkness is something that in my body I would feel and reflect.
1st person: I am present in the scene. I feel the raindrops falling on my body, splashing, wherever I go there is no end to it. Mud squishes under my feet, as I move, I enter shadows and darkness perhaps feeling its weight. I could be the clouds, I could find movement to do with raindrops, splashing.
Atmosphere: The rain is everywhere, it has a damp smell, they dynamic of raindrops and their sound I put into my movement. The dull light I transpose through dampened movement as a development I can embody little streams and pools, change from spreading in the room to a small object like a damp log on the side of a road.
It’s a thought process and something that I am experimenting with.
I would be interested in comments as to how you imagine? What situations do you use different types of imagination?
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Small update to the fantasy of touch solo choreography:
Everyday Touch
The more I work with touch and explore it, the more questions I have!
If you think about what physical contact you had over the last week… When do we touch other people? Who did you touch and what was the context?
Eg.
I gave my son a hug as he left for the day
I held the foot of a student to correct her position in a dance class
I brushed the hand of a parent in passing him a pen
Sometimes touch is intentional, some unintentional. Some moments of touch bring an intimate response, some we pass off as just part of a normal day. Touching others comes down to culture and context. It is a powerful experience and can be very intense.
More questions such as: Is the touch usual or unusual? Does it overstep boundaries or push the edges? Is it desired or rejected?
In itself the act of touch could be seen as an act of violation. Violation of the personal space of another being. I am entering their physical space and therefore their person. Touch is also pretty much unavoidable. If someone wants to touch another person, it takes a lot of effort to evade.
What is it about touch that is so powerful? I come back to thoughts on attachment. Touch is an act of connecting to another being. It stimulates and creates, engaging emotions. By touching someone, we are actively making a choice to bond with that person. At which level we connect can be different due to the situation or person, but all contact is an act of connection.
Attachment has special qualities in itself. It is like a magnet. As with touch we either accept it or reject it. There is very little in-between. Attachment has a space element, a distance to which we feel comfortable. So by touching we are breaching this distance. Maybe this is why touch is so powerful - it comes by closing the space causing an immediate acceptance or rejection response. For example: think of the person you embrace but as soon as the moment (or polite duty) is passed you are quite happy to separate. Or the hug you give and want to hold onto and keep as long as possible (until the magic wears off!).
How can I express this in dance? Well the ideas themselves lead to exploration of physical contact in a sensual, relationship, emotional way. Lots of dance gets lost in the mechanics or technique. What interests is the connection and through that, expression. Evoking emotional responses in humans to portray and express ideas that we all know so well.
If I abstract reality and engage the senses, I can create believable situations where touch is shown as well as experienced. My belief is it will lead to interesting moments of dance.
Touch as a theme brings so much to touch to think about conceptually. More to come…
The fantasy of touch
Task: Look at an object. Imagine how it is to touch this object… What happens? What is the physical reaction in you body? What do you sense?
It’s amazing the power of imagination. How the imagination works. What just thinking about touch does to the body. It provokes a physical sensation that is not currently present. Even though the fantasy of touch is a figment of imagination it has such a realness to it. Furthermore imagination is not fixed by physical limitations, so in many ways it can take the feeling and sensation even further. The magical power of the mind. And once the mind is stimulated in such fashion, through association, the fantasy is able to grow and grow.
My thoughts came to how it is when you have no access to touch. When there is no-one else around? The idea of touching oneself is often seen as taboo, but the fantasy of touching something or being touched?
Do we need touch itself to provoke its feeling? How real or close to the feeling of being touched can we get?
So many questions!
I was using this idea of the fantasy of touch in creating today. Finding expressive movement that comes from fantasising a feeling of touch. Passive touch, of someone stroking your skin, grabbing at your wrists, holding you tight or active touch, the need to move an object, support oneself, lift a hand or grab the space…
Sensations I felt were very real and intense. The flow of movement came and knew where it wanted to go. The creation that came is intuitive, inner impulse based from the fantasy of the sensation of touch.
AM and Choreography
The more I have experimented with Authentic Movement, the more uses I find for it. There are many ways in which it is very helpful and brings amazing results. I guess if I distil them all down the one thing that really stands out, is the connection to inner impulses. Through Authentic Movement I establish a strong intensive connection to my own inner impulses, follow them and use them in various settings. They are like inner urges longing to come out and at the same time I feel as if I am being moved. I feel a deep sense of connection to myself and also as if I have totally let go of control. Something inside of me moves and I go with it!
Why choreographically?
In choreography, a lot of the interesting movement that I see has a genuine authenticity to it. Sometimes it comes from the choreographer directly where you can see them moving onstage, the body of the dancer just a means of expression. At other times, it is the dancer themselves who are so congruent and authentic in their role that a powerful moment is produced. Either way it there is an authenticity in the dance.
From all these thoughts my question is: How can I use AM or AM principles in choreography?
There are of course many ways! Here is one of them…
Before starting I get clear on my theme so that the framework of intent is there to guide me. It’s like creating a shell or an area of containment within which I can explore. This can be based on the music, theme, or intention… Within these parameters, I turn my awareness inside my body, listening to the impulses that come (à la AM) and let myself be moved. What results is authentic inspired movement that follows and arises spontaneously in the moment. These phrases I record on video (or sometimes just through memory). I then watch them, refine them and guide them encapsulating the feeling phrasing, shape and dynamic into coherent dance. The process is a continuous flow following follow these authentic inner impulses.
I have found a few limitations: working with eyes closed (not always necessary but helpful) can make the movement a little smaller. Sometimes the impulses get off track and there is a need to refocus the intent, but these are small problems that are easily overcome.
Really what is created from the process, is a base from which to work.
So here is a beginning of a duet on the theme of touch using these principles…. Fresh and raw!
With Ioulia Kokkokkiou
Music Nils Frahm
Touch
Recently, as a further step in my own personal dance development I have been exploring the theme of touch. It’s amazing, intense and such a wild theme. My feeling is that touch is something that you can only really experience. It is physical, stimulates the senses and evokes many emotions. As I explore the theme in a physical and dance setting, I am continually surprised as to my new discoveries (for me) and how many components to touch there are to unpack. I am also surprised at how little I know and my limited awareness of touch, especially because of how big a part of life it is. It is something that we use and experience every day!
Touch is a basic need. As we enter the world, our first method of sensing where we are is touch. Time spent in the uterus gives over to the warmth of skin. Touch orientates us and is our primary attachment, the first sense we rely on. It is so strong and dictates our first experiences of the world… preverbal, pre-visual. It is connective, stimulates the emotions and transmits to the brain many messages both for us and to others. As we grow, we develop and use our other senses to explore the world, communicate and make sense of all that is around us. We become less reliant on touch, but it remains still the biggest and strongest sense. And I would argue the most intensive.
In dance we are aware of our bodies. A lot of the time we move alone or adjacent to others. Yet in working with other dancers, there is a sense of togetherness when touch is required. A lot of touch in dance, like how much of dance is taught, starts out as mechanical. It becomes function to execute movement especially when one needs to dance together. Yet this, just as producing movement without feeling, hides its greatest potential - to experience, immerse, communicate and express.
Touching is sensual. It communicates. There is intent behind each and every touch. Calming, controlling, playful… Being aware of touch can be likened to experiencing a language. It’s very familiar and intuitive but how much do you really understand? And how aware are you of the messaging when you touch someone or someone touches you?
Touch is also very intimate. It steps over a boundary and into someones personal space. It therefore requires trust. It can close the gap between people when desired or be invasive (when undesired). There is the moment just before touching/being touched which is riveting in anticipation.
Something that I am just discovering and getting my head around is how touch bridges the gap between form and feeling. Look at an object, then imagine how it is to touch this object and be aware of the physical reaction in your body… What happens?
And is all just scratching the surface of what touch is!
A short improvisation on touch with Ioulia Kokkokkiou
Small creative dance exercise
Over the last months I have been exploring the theme of expression and dance for a research project. There are a lot of ideas that may of my very generous peers have given me insight to through interviews.
An exercise that I have created, that I want share, incorporates many of the ideas to do with expression.
Idea: Take a phrase of text… eg. Do you see the stars shining brightly in the nights sky?
Associate: what comes first into mind as you hear the text? (brainstorming like a mindmap)
Improvise: with the idea and associations in mind. Move freely in the space
Follow inner impulses: What inner impulses come as you move? Inner impulses are the need to move, an urge to change ones form often from a feeling place (authenticity)
Observe and evaluate: What you find? What were the impulses? What did they get you to do / how did you feel like moving? What did you like about the movement?
Create phrase: Put the ideas together. Create repeatable movements/a phrase of movement. Set an order. Link them together in a coherent way (one leading naturally to another)
Text: create a text of the movement describing clearly the intention behind each step/idea. what am I expressing?
The exercise is multi-layered. It touches the ideas of Authenticity, Freedom and Intention creatively.
As you attempt the exercise please leave some feedback in the comments below!
Being seen...
Something I think about often is how important it is to be seen. Truly seen for who we are, our authentic selves. And in doing so, to receive empathy and acknowledgment from others.
It’s not a basic need as in shelter or food, but it is the basis of human interaction. It is the basis of connection, real connection and at an authentic level it is fulfilment pure.
Think a child crying out for attention. It is crying to be seen, to have its needs fulfilled especially by caregivers when it can’t take care of them itself.
Something that is really growing on me is how much the need to be seen can explain peoples behaviour. My own too. How inspiring it can be, how divisive it can be, how it drives us, how fulfilling the moment feels and perhaps how easy it is to give someone the present of being seen.
To truly be seen, we need to present to the world our authentic selves . Open and honest, present in the moment. Anything less is hollow. Being seen and recognised for playing a role or pretending to be something other than our true selves is empty. Any recognition or praise received passes us by as it is praise for something we are not. Being seen truly needs authenticity, a connection to our own inner being.
An example of this is the insatiable feeling that social media gives and the hollowness of this connection. The aspiration to be seen and connect makes it so addictive, but it leaves a hole - type of being seen is always authentic. It’s a partial view, a picture that one curates of oneself, lacking physical interaction to make it whole.
Another thought around being seen is how we give attention seeking behaviour a bad name. Really it the desire for connection. Some do it by offering, some by withdrawing, even conflict has often the motive behind it - to be seen. If it didn’t, then why would one bother.
It often links to our need to feel important. Being seen gives us this feeling of importance. People looking up to you or recognising you for who you are. If it is not there sometimes it is demanded!
If we reframe attention seeking as the need to be seen and connect, how does our perspective change to people who behave in a hurtful or disrespectful manner? What is their true motive for this behaviour? Could it be because they want to be seen? If they didn’t, would they even have the urge to say anything. I must admit being on the other side of such behaviour is tricky. Sometimes I wonder how to handle it? It’s tricky because rewarding bad behaviour reinforces it as a way to get the attention needed.
Perhaps the best way is to be like a mountain, immovable and unreactive to the behaviour. Realise it is their “need”. Find a way to make them feel seen, without addressing their problems/the situation, by being empathetic to what they are feeling. Recognising their feelings without being moved or afflicted by their insults or demands.
How do we see people?
Through being present: in the room or vicinity of someone and there in the moment, open.
Through eye contact: looking someone in the eyes regulates and connects at a deeper level.
Through mirroring: physical mirroring puts you into the feeling place of the person in front of you.
Through being empathetic: sounding out the feelings of another and expressing them.
Through acknowledgement: recognising achievements, presence.
Through authentic and honest appreciation: thanking them, expressing gratitude for who they are, what they do, being here.
Find something that you like about the person, or them in this moment: Giving a compliment about a quality they have/show.
Finding the words/gestures to make them feel seen.
To me, the feeling of being seen is like a bucket with a small leak. It gets filled by the above actions, yet slowly leaks over time. Being seen is also a mutual pleasure, seeing someone is simply connecting on a deep level. That moment is so fulfilling and has a lasting effect and in giving such a gift, it is also gratifying and allows reciprocation. Can we say in life all we are searching for… is to be seen?
Personally:
I like being seen authentically for who I am. It is a feeling like no other. Being introverted, it means I don’t necessarily search out the spotlight, but I certainly do enjoy it! Over many years as a performer on stage, honest appreciation felt amazing. The times when it didn’t were whether I could accept it myself, the praise. And this had more to do with me than others.
In my communication I am authentic. I say what I think and mean. I guess at times I do hold back, just to recognise a situation and getting a feel for where I am and its dynamics - attune. This is where I sometimes I get a feeling of floating and not being seen. Though how can one expect others to see you if you are not open and vulnerable? My greatest connection and resonance to others comes when I am open and vulnerable.
I think I could see others more. Engaging eye-contact is really simple, being present too. Engaging, listening actively, empathising, appreciating… all great social skills that need practice!
There is also the question of who we want to be seen by? It’s not all equal. For some reason, if someone tells me all these people are interested in me, my work, etc. it’s a nice feeling but I’m like whatever! Maybe that’s a limiting belief that I need to work on…
Who do I want to be seen by is affected by what this person means to me/represents? Being seen by people who are important to me socially, professionally, carries a lot more meaning. So it is not just being seen, but being seen by the people who we want to see us…!! And then why is it that when I don’t care about who sees me, I allow myself to be out there vulnerable, authentic and free? In doing so: being seen!?!
Reflection on Der Raum Zwischen Uns
Der Raum Zwischen Uns is my latest dance project performed on Saturday 4th September 2021 outdoors at Neroberg Wiesbaden. It was funded by the Kulturamt Wiesbaden in its “Utopia 21 - Wie wollen wir leben?” grants. The project involved 29 dancers of all different levels and abilities in a 1h piece.
Here is a reflection on my aims and the process. I am so thankful for the experience and all that I have managed to create and learn.
The theme for my submission for a dance project was: distance, closeness and the reality of our world living with COVID
From the beginning I wanted to do a project that was bigger than what I had done before. It meant taking the opportunity to make something out of the grant that I received in getting together a larger group of dancers (some professionals and some amateurs) and get more people from the city involved. To achieve this aim I needed to connect with people here in Wiesbaden interested in dance, not just through creating a project to support but through having them also dance and be involved.
In my pieces, I am not satisfied with just creating dance but I want to bring the audience an experience. Whatever it is and in whatever form it takes, my aim is to have my creation involve the audience and engage. The piece should create a thought provoking examination of an idea, where I present a point of view that can be understood on different levels. My desire is also that the concept is open to personal interpretation. This is where I started with Der Raum Zwischen Uns.
The idea came to me to present onstage real people with whom we all could connect with. It was important to the chosen theme - distance, closeness and the reality of our world living with COVID - to make it real… “it could be me”. That was also my reasoning behind using a range of people - 3 different generations - made up of amateurs, students and professionals. They give a unique blend, authentic in how they express themselves and to which the audience can relate.
In each dance I set myself the task to capture the feeling of a certain moment or a point of view through a situation. I used distance and it’s emotional pull as a reference to awaken feelings of uncertainty and longing. It has been a very present theme over the last year with social distancing and the uncertainty living with COVID has created. Also the idea that there is something out there (COVID) that we can’t see also creates uncertainty on a daily basis.
Being outdoors it was possible to set the piece on two stages. Two stages and the gap between them was important to showing themes of distance as well as the general the experience. Being separated, they created a gap, which helped in the setting of a narrative, as well allowing space between the dancers to be shown.
The first part of the piece was reflective of our emotional response, a study on space between couples and how that space feels. When you is aware of the space between you and someone else it is a strong motivator. Close the gap you feels closeness, grow the gap, separation. Is the distance desired then it calms, is it undesired then it creates tension and pressure. In the study, we go to from here is always open with each moment providing a possibility that speaks for itself. A relationship takes two people and is dependent on the desire for connection and what type of connection that is.
The second part of the piece was situational. I tried my hand at a narrative showing different reactions to the new situation created by the corona virus. I find it fascinating that there are so many different responses to what has happened. The one thing we share in common is this has happened to us all. We all have an emotional response regarding the new situation. My creation is also reflection of looking what is important to us/me in the end. By taking away the things that we need/love, we realise more what is important to us.
I learned a lot from organising the project myself. From engaging dancers, keeping in a budget, organising rehearsals to the whole production side, there was much to do and we got it done. I asked for help where I needed it and managed to bring the best that I could within the scope of what was possible. For all the help I received I am very grateful!
Having a lighting rehearsal was perhaps the one thing that I needed that wasn’t possible due to costs, but otherwise I was very happy with the results. The dance side was fantastic. The quality of the dancers and their engagement was something I am proud of. Their expression and interpretation, bringing to life my ideas in their own way was very impressive and carried the piece.
Perhaps costuming is a weakness that I can improve on for my next projects. Getting a clear line of thinking and finding a design would help. Making decisions about costuming and believing in them. Here I see my limitations and space for growth.
In these weaknesses perhaps the best thing is to ask for help/advice from people who are knowledgable about them. Definitely on the technical side I have people who can help and through doing the process even more have emerged. It doesn’t need them to invest a lot of time, but to offer an opinion is something that people are mostly willing to do. It’s networking from my side and taking initiative in making contact. As I have learned, my ideas and skills can be great, though those of a group can be even greater. There is always more that one can reach together!
A bit of self praise here. On reflection, I see many moments in my piece that were created subconsciously. I am amazed at how things fit together and even express intriguing thoughts that I hadn’t meant to create. The blossoming of creative processes continue to surprise me. And the clarity with which the ideas came across was quite fulfilling.
There is a certain flow in the integration of ideas, finding meaning in things that were already created. Spontaneity in creation and then clarification and crystallisation of the idea towards the end through reflection. It’s letting a piece grow by itself and take on a life of it’s on, where I see myself as the gardener or parent, forming it at the edges, yet allowing a piece to evolve by itself! Magic!!
A big thank you to everyone involved and the Kulturamt Wiesbaden for their support!
In full length, here for the moment:
Enjoy!
Immersion
Immersion: Deep mental involvement in something
Immersion is feeling and state that is amazing. It’s the feeling of being really involved deeply so that time stays still. It’s being surrounded by and engulfed in whatever one is immersed. The creative ideas flow. To be immersed in a passion is so satisfying...
Somehow I have a certain feeling of discomfort surrounding immersing myself. Even in things that I love to do. There is a certain hesitation. It shows itself in procrastination and a feeling of being overwhelmed. There is also a perceived feeling of losing myself. A lack of control?
It’s not the immersion itself that scares me. I love that state. I have an aversion to where I will be at the end of it. I wonder if it relates to the disappointment/void that comes when things reach a conclusion. Being a dancer over so many years and use to the highs of performing, there is always the come down/ void that is left at the end after it is completed. I am no different to others in trying avoid negative emotions and perhaps an aversion to immersion is a coping strategy. Don’t go in too deep if I don’t have to and the void will be less…
This is a weakness. In a structure where one is committed to a person, group or piece there is enough engagement that it’s not really an issue. When one is working for and solely reliant on oneself, it’s much more of a challenge. It limits me personally in what I can reach and create. It also limits my enjoyment as immersion in a task brings such joy.
So it is time to let go and get lost. Enjoy the chaos and not knowing where I will end up. Accept that I cannot control everything and feel. Have a goal, keep my focus, but let it happen.
Here are some suggestions (to myself!) to get started:
to define the goals
the next bight-size steps to take
find a space alone where no one will disturb me
clear all other distractions (eg. phone off!)
set an initial time limit of for instance 10 mins
do all this at a specific time and even a routine time (a date with myself!)
Lower the expectations and enjoy the moment, let go and immerse! Believe that I will still be there at the end, greater for the experience!