Presence Project process
I was thinking a lot about how I work through a projects theme and process it
Presence process reflection
Created a list of questions about the subject of things I don’t know and problems to solve
Researched the subject directly and indirectly (other fields)
Talked to peers about their perspectives
Worked out what I find interesting in the theme and started to shape what I want to say
Worked on a theory/perspective and its connections
Created concepts and models in my head
Tried them out in the studio in exercises and tasks
Evaluated the results and examined the ideas anew
Kept those ideas that work and threw out those that didn’t
The ideas/concepts that did work I refined and collated
The results I used to structure a piece, as the base inspiration for a choreography
Found connections between the pieces
Explored in a choreographic setting the pieces, giving them meaning and space to breathe and grow
Now comes the moment where the joy of working on the completed choreography starts.
It is a constant process between the end of the first draft and the premiere. Refining, changing, bringing in new perspectives, experimenting each time. Playing, giving it life. In each moment I try to pick out what is important to me and expand these areas.
The choreography itself:
I choose to inspire through my work, engage and provoke thought.
I offer a perspective and a vision that others can experience and evaluate.
I desire to take people on an emotional journey through my creations.
I wish for people to connect - with the work, with each other
It’s physical, it’s emotional, it’s connected.
It’s brings artists together and has them express themselves in one moment.
It’s shares the ideas as a group and soon to an audience.
It is important to reach people with my work.
To be heard.
To be seen.
Visible.
Random thoughts on playing games
I love playing. It’s so natural and fun. There is so much creativity to it too. Experimentation and expression.
There are 3 types of playing: for something, against something or with something.
2 types of games: Finite and infinite games - Games to win and games to stay in the game.
Among others, two types of players: performers and creators - illusionists vs artists - people who think they know and people with true experience.
I love the idea from Twyla Tharp who expressed as she goes into the studio and she sees it as a blank canvas - endless possibilities of what to create.
What we create is an expression of lived experience. Just taking it that one step further. Each iteration a new step, a new try. It’s expansion and growth all happening before your eyes. Also in the physical body.
So in the dance creation process, there is the time to explore. This is the creative game the one where we are here to stay in the game. To keep creating, playing, finding new ideas. Working out the possibilities, trying new versions. No goals, just exploration.
Then we come to the second game with a goal - the output. A performance or a showing. An event dictated by time and expectations. It draws energy and focus together to express the learned information.
Yet a dance piece is a constant creation where playing with the movement is part of the game. It is always alive otherwise we could just put on the video.
Perfect doesn’t exist, but better than the last one does. Keep going, there is always a new improved version to make. Small steps and then large.
Even if the new one isn’t better, I now know the difference (or what doesn’t work)!
Present moment decisions
In a follow up to the ideas on Presence, one concept that captures me at the moment is the importance of all the small decisions that we make. The idea comes from Shane Parrishs’ book Clear Thinking.
His idea paraphrased is that the small decisions we make every moment, every day are ones that really count. Big decisions, which we place so much importance on, are meaningful yet relatively clear. It is the work we do each day that adds up and makes us who we are. Whether we spend time distracted or in the present moment, whether we choose to go to bed on time or stay up late once, doesn’t seem to matter so much in the present, but over time has a large effect. Small decisions added up over time become habits, affecting who we are and how we see the world.
In connecting that to the theme of presence, the present is really the only thing we can affect. Our actions don’t happen in the past or the future, they happen now. So never underestimate the power of small decisions in each moment, like choosing to be here or offer gratitude. It is really taking part in life, choosing to interact fully with the world around us. There great things can happen!
Presence Movement Exercise
In researching and exploring for my latest dance project on the theme of Presence I’ve found an exercise that captures the moment. It’s simple and powerful in ways I am still discovering.
In a room, or with a partner:
Come into the present moment by closing your eyes and breathing. Recognise how you feel right now
Slowly open your eyes and take in the room and surroundings. What captures your attention?
Ask the question: How do I feel in relation to this external stimulus? Go with the feeling and explore how it makes your body want to move.
Continually update the moment with the questions above: What captures my attention? How do I feel/want to move?
Play with the moment, continually connecting with the external and internal worlds.
What can the stimulus be? Forms in the room, of objects, light, shade, temperature, colours, sounds, music, people - their presence, reactions and movement… really anything. Of course our eyes are often attracted to things that change.
What comes through the exercise is connection to both the world around me and myself, all in the present moment. It creates a sense of play that is curious and open. The outside world is continually changing providing new stimulus. The response in the body itself continually affects the moment in a circular form, making it unique and new. The resulting spontaneity and creativity that comes really needs to be experienced.
Presence
Presence is my next dance theme.
I try to simplify and define what it is, in the context that I am using it.
Presence is 2 things:
This moment, the here and now
How I interact with the world around me, the inner and outer world, sending and receiving
Here in the now is spontaneity and availability to the moment, focused without moving into the past or future.
How I interact with the world is 2 parts:
Receptivity to the world around me, noticing what is happening outside of me, awareness of the outer world
Awareness of how I feel, my inner world of emotions and authenticity, preference and desire. Actively expressing them
These two worlds interact or flow - in the moment.
The strength of my connection to both these worlds, in the now, determines my presence.
Thoughts?
Movement idea to the feeling of overwhelm
Here is an idea that I have found useful to experiment with. Intense physical movement for 5-10secs in moments when I am overwhelmed or stuck.
Recently I have been watching myself, consciously aware of how I am in the moment. I notice that when I feel overwhelmed or stuck, there is freeze in my body. Sometimes it is a moment, but often this feeling/state lingers. Physically I catch myself hardly breathing, my body is still and it's like there is a rock in my stomach. Often the trigger is my thoughts. It's uncertainty about the future, things out of my control, feelings of too much to do, high expectations to meet or that I have to force myself to get something done against my own will.
When I’m feeling stuck/overwhelmed, of all possible physical actions to take, the one I find of most value is a moment of intense movement. I run on the spot as fast as I can with full tension (at an “over the top speed”) for 5-10 seconds. If I can’t run, I imitate the movement in sitting with the same intensity by moving my legs and arms. Though it sometimes it takes a few attempts, the effect of reaching such intensity and holding it for that short period is immense.
I notice the intense action causes feeling to come back into my body. (A small warning: it can be quite uncomfortable.) The feeling of stuck releases… Emotions that I have been avoiding come back into my body and in time clear. (A fascinating study shows the body clears a natural emotional response on average within 90 seconds).
Sometimes it can take a few attempts. As my body becomes present with the movement, the emotions enter and dissipate it is liberating. I am left with a huge amount energy and agency. The restoration of energy and natural flow return providing relief. I have the desire to move and breathe.
The feeling of stuck/overwhelm and its connection to trauma being released through movement, fit well into Peter Levines trauma response theory:
We store trauma in the body because our body was unable to respond to a perceived danger in the moment. Instead of moving to fight or flight from the freeze state, the body gets stuck. This happens if the freeze state is activate for too long. This causes us to overwhelm, not believing in agency to change, escape or beat the situation. It is the feeling of helplessness, things are outside of our control and reaction feels pointless. Levines theory is to create change by reenacting the physical response that was unavailable or missing.
The idea of danger and trauma in our world today is also interesting due to conditioning. In our everyday lives there are few real threats to our existence. Yet small innocuous moments can often trigger us. This is a trigger of memories of past experiences, associations with times we felt in danger. Often overblown reactions and triggers to setback or someones comment act out like a “tantrum”. Again a natural physical response.
Society doesn’t like such reactions and so as children we learn to hold in feelings and suppress them. Our body course wants something else (whether justified or not). The nervous system is far quicker to trigger us than our rational brain can respond. The suppression is the freeze state. It creates a conflict between our natural physical response and the perceived safety and consideration of others. The freeze state leaves us stuck.
To get around this, in conversation it’s easier to respond and work through the moment. Being conscious and aware, we can rationalise, recognise the danger and take a moment before responding- The mindful pause. With a real threat, we can act! Problems arrises when there is not someone or something to react to. Our bodies perception, though irrational is real. Then, turning to a moment of intense movement can help.
Though I connect this idea with feeling stuck, it seems to also work well in other less dramatic states. These states connect to the idea of trauma but to a lesser intensity:
lethargy,
resistance
procrastination
lack of focus
unwillingness
reluctance
emptiness
These states I find I experience more often than I would like. So here I am, running at high intensity on a regular basis!
A picture I have in my mind of the process: the effort of pushing a ball over the top of the hill. The rest takes care of itself….
So if you are feeling a little blahhh, give it a go! See what happens!
More thoughts about this from Nicole LePera: https://twitter.com/Theholisticpsyc/status/1632011612973576192?s=20
Interesting challenges...
I’ll give a little bit of context here about what I am attempting and trying.
I started over a year ago with an exercise called spotlight. It is very simple: everyone stands in a circle. One person enters the circle with a task, eg. to move to the music. They stay until someone else enters who then replaces them. It’s about connecting with yourself (moving to music) and also being seen (entering the circle you are in the spotlight!). It has an element of group feeling and decision making - one decides when to enter. There are many variations of the task, from the person being able to leave voluntarily, adding a second or 3rd person in the circle simultaneously, to specific tasks within the circle to do with movement and tasks for the circle itself. Each variation requires courage and vulnerability to differing degrees.
At the same time I have been also working on ideas to do with presence and connection. Here one task is to hold a dual focus. Explanation: we have both an inner and outer focus. An inner focus being our physical bodies, our emotions, how I feel in the moment and the impulses that arise. An outer focus is mindfully seeing and recognising people and things around us in the room. The combination of both is a dual focus, seeing something and being at the same time aware of how I feel/my reactions. It is always there, but mostly subconsciously.
So I have adapted/combined these exercises to work on presence and connection.
The task is to enter the circle and hold in ones focus a connection to the people around and move to ones own feeling. At the same time the people around are asked to hold the same focus to the person in the circle and in movement react.
Perhaps it is complex… And maybe that is where it is a struggle. Too many layers at once?
What I am surprised by as I set the exercise was the reluctance and the resistance to entering the circle. And I don’t put it in a way that entering the circle is a big deal. It is always a challenge for some, but as I stated above this process has been repeated many times in different variations and I use the experienced level of take-up as my baseline. The resistance I find is to this specific task. My feeling is it has to do with the connection and being seen expressed through a reluctance to enter this space, mentally and physically. It is as if the mindfulness awakens vulnerabilities that are always there, but are ignored and being in touch with them causes a form of social anxiety.
This brings me back to why I find it intriguing. We are actually seen everywhere we go simply by being present, whether it is conscious or not, be it in a cafe, walking down the street or in an interview. So it is intriguing to me, what the difference is…
In front of a peer group, focus on personal awareness, being seen, complexity? Possibly all of them at once? That can understandably be overwhelming.
And it is a divergence from my own feelings where I find the whole situation exciting and engaging. Of course, different people have different feelings and they are very much to be respected! My purpose here is not to overwhelm, but to find the edges. I am doing that, but wary.
"Tanz mit mir!" Reflection!
What was “Tanz mit mir!”?
The best way I can describe it was a personal declaration of love for dance. Yes, that is what it was. It was an evening of all the things that I love about dance, expressed in one experience. Being physically tuned to ones body, moving to music in different ways, living the moment, spontaneous and engaged. This combined with performing and observing dance in a space where ones senses are heightened. It creates an incredible intensity of feeling that causes the exuberance of passion all in a supportive immersive atmosphere. Merging the choreography and dancers personal abilities with the venue of the Schloss made the experience unique. The evening was about being present and living the moment.
It was very also personal. The attributes of the experience as above, are what hooked me as a 6 year old to dance and make it my career. If you haven’t been on stage as a dancer living the experience, in some ways this evening is as close (without actually performing) as you can get… and then some! The some being the lack of need for control, not knowing in advance what will happen and allowing oneself to be vulnerable, let go and be taken on an adventure that is real!
The format of the project has been a dream of mine for many years. I have had a vision to do this kind of interactive immersive piece because it excites me just thinking about it. It is sharing in a personal way with others what I love about dance. The dream itself has evolved and expanded. With the experiences I have now had and the development of my skills in creating dance and it was the right time for me to embark on this concept. What I have learned through the experience is immense.
We had 100 audience members over the 2 shows and from the participation and reaching my goals I can safely say that it was a huge success. 98% of the audience joined in the whole way through and that last 2 percent managed to find in the evening a moment where they overcame their fears and joined (about half way). I don’t think you can get much better than that with an activity that needs people to allow themselves to be vulnerable. It’s a big credit to the supportive nature of the creation and the feeling of the performers who were involved. Seeing the joy and resonance that came out of the people who experienced lived the event makes me so proud and thankful.
This project has been my most fulfilling so far. The size and scope with the number of participants involved and taking on responsibility for the project alone, has been a huge journey with amazing growth. I’ve overcome so much resistance to get it done. It’s not always easy convincing people of something that they have never experienced. From rewriting the concept 5 times after having it rejected because it wasn’t understood, to people who I thought would be interested to come, not making the effort to show up the list goes on and on… there were dancers and musicians who cancelled… but these challenges made the results even greater. I was forced to be unwavering in my belief in the project, open myself to being vulnerable, find new ways of doing things and attract in the right people to get my vision into reality.
Do things that scare you! And this was one. Pushing against my fears is exactly what I needed here and wanted. There was never a moment where I wanted to give up. It was always only a question of how. The trust in my own ability and expansion of my skills has been most fulfilling.
It can be hard breaking new ground, convincing people to believe in a vision that they have never experienced. In an interactive and immersive piece too, there are so many unknowns. A lot of the time through the process I had a feeling I was making it up on the spot, with so many variables in play. This was a blossoming of my creativity - spontaneously making decisions, acting and reacting in the moment, much like the piece itself.
Through “Tanz mit mir!” I’ve found and met new people who were truly interested in my vision, expanded my own network, overcome many obstacles in planning and marketing, created, choreographed and coordinated a 1:45h site specific performance on a large scale (28 performers, away from the luxury and comfort of a theatre), even perhaps found a new audience (about 25% of the audience I knew, where usually in Wiesbaden it is the other way round). All this on a very limited budget, meaning a lot relied on good will.
Thankful I am too, for all the people who believed. I planted a seed that opened the minds of those involved to what is possible and I am thankful for all their support. It doesn’t always take a lot, but being prepared to break new ground needs an openness and trust that is special. The amount of learning, growth and maturation has been immense.
Tanz mit mir! Spoiler...
So I get the question what is “Tanz mit mir!” actually? And perhaps to answer it, I’ll give a short description.
Warning: Don’t read any further if you want a surprise…
“Tanz mit mir!” starts by collecting the audience together (outside the Schloss - German for palace/villa) where a dancer/actor starts a series of games with the audience moving them, placing them, attempting to have them to move in various ways. The audience is then split into 4 groups that then enter the Schloss itself.
Each group is sent to a different room inside the Schloss where a dance experience awaits. The experiences are are a mixture of participation and performance - an offer to participate to move in a simple way which anyone can easily achieve. The participation element captures the essence of the dance presented which - its atmosphere and the moment. This is expressed without words. The second part part of the experience is an immersive performance where inspiration can be found as to where the dance can go. This happens all around at various stages in the sequence.
The audience is then lead from one room to the next. The evening concludes with all the groups being brought to the entrance where a live band is playing and together together they have the opportunity to move freely to live music (and the bar is just around the corner).
“Tanz mit mir!” the interactive immersive dance evening!