Anxiety and calm

In exploring the feelings for “PTT” and the moment, I had some personal thoughts on anxiety and how it affects me:

From a meditation on calm some observations fit well together.  “There is no calm without anxiety.”  I catch myself trying so hard to avoid this emotion.  There is no calm without boredom either.  Another avoid.

From a high energy level of “doing”, to come back down to homeostasis — so necessary to recharge and nurture, the avoidance just pushes it away.  It’s missing until the crash, a constant state of being overtired or just the feeling of running on empty but due to life pressures having to continue.

What if I got in touch with my feelings? If I allowed myself to feel anxious and bored.  If I could cope with these just a feelings just a bit more.  Would the calm flow?

So much of the dopamine world we live in discourages this.  And it is fascinating to watch and observe myself, as I am taking time out and really getting a holiday and rest, how much calm, energy and vibrance I feel.  There is anxiety for sure. It’s not so far away. The anxiety that I am missing out or not doing things that I should.  It’s perhaps a dive into procrastination, a little too far in low energy place, but it’s ok for now. It’s a place where I know I can kickstart myself when I need to.

It’s fascinating observing my children on their school break too. They are so ingenuous with their time.  Creative, when they are forced to be bored and have “nothing to do”.  It’s such a gift. I love telling them that boredom is a good thing and seeing it come out as such.

My anxiety:

• to not be moving at such a fast pace

• to be missing out on ?

• to feel negative emotions

They are all going to happen anyway.  So why avoid them?!

And calm feels great!