Anxiety and calm
In exploring the feelings for “PTT” and the moment, I had some personal thoughts on anxiety and how it affects me:
From a meditation on calm some observations fit well together. “There is no calm without anxiety.” I catch myself trying so hard to avoid this emotion. There is no calm without boredom either. Another avoid.
From a high energy level of “doing”, to come back down to homeostasis — so necessary to recharge and nurture, the avoidance just pushes it away. It’s missing until the crash, a constant state of being overtired or just the feeling of running on empty but due to life pressures having to continue.
What if I got in touch with my feelings? If I allowed myself to feel anxious and bored. If I could cope with these just a feelings just a bit more. Would the calm flow?
So much of the dopamine world we live in discourages this. And it is fascinating to watch and observe myself, as I am taking time out and really getting a holiday and rest, how much calm, energy and vibrance I feel. There is anxiety for sure. It’s not so far away. The anxiety that I am missing out or not doing things that I should. It’s perhaps a dive into procrastination, a little too far in low energy place, but it’s ok for now. It’s a place where I know I can kickstart myself when I need to.
It’s fascinating observing my children on their school break too. They are so ingenuous with their time. Creative, when they are forced to be bored and have “nothing to do”. It’s such a gift. I love telling them that boredom is a good thing and seeing it come out as such.
My anxiety:
to not be moving at such a fast pace
to be missing out on ?
to feel negative emotions
They are all going to happen anyway. So why avoid them?!
And calm feels great!
PTT Rehearsal video
Here is a video to connect with the notes of my last post (reference Gelis 1+2). It’s the first section of the duet.
What do you feel and see?
Leave me a comment. All feedback is helpful!
Passing the Time process continued
To continue, I have pictures in my mind / sources from the internet, scrapbook, ideas and associations of feelings, moments. I also have videos of improvisation to the themes, pictures and feelings that represent authentic movement from me.
Now I prepare the music/analyse it. It’s quite simply listening to music/soundscape, identifying any orientation points and counting the phrases and noting the timecode. I note anything that stands out to identify the phrase, a description of its feeling, which instruments are there, lyrics to the text. This I notate on the left next to the timecode. In a second column I add my thoughts, movement ideas and if there is a combination that comes to mind, choreographic phrases. The choreographic phrases come from both watching my improvisation videos and fantasy as inspiration. It creating a form - a thought process. Impulses from improvisation (feeling) give it a basis, but I find that they are not enough alone to be clear in expressing the idea. This is my process of combining the two - form and feeling.
I end up with each phrase of music having a connected idea behind it. Depth in pictures, feelings, thoughts connected to movement. As the music develops and phrases of movement develop, the idea is expressed. The path/story to the whole piece is always in mind and it is finding a flow in the content to the ideas to express them within the musical number. Here I can add in repeats/adjust the sound scape as necessary (though mostly it fits together!).
The process of notation and visualisation/thought out movement is a large step on the way back into the studio. It is forming a vision of what I am creating with details. In the studio is the process of bringing this vision into reality, trying the movements out.
Through experience I know approximately what works. There are always adjustments and surprises. As I physically move, I realise that a section is way too quick or too slow, moments come and go, there may be need for more rhythm or more pause. The sensation and realisation comes from actually trying out the movement physically. It’s a discovery process, creating an experiene.
If I am dancing myself, I video it again and analyse. If I am not dancing myself then I can adjust and let the movement be interpreted adding dynamic range to increase the clarity.
Notes to PTT choreography. To match with a rehearsal video coming out in a few days…
“Passing the Time” scrapbook
So in filling out the ideas, I turned to some images online. Here is a small snippet of the scrapbook I made. Some inspiration. The pictures evoke feelings mainly. When I look at them, where do my thoughts go? How does my fantasy connect with them?
I use them as imagery to get both different perspectives and closer to the theme. What kind of movement would I associate with these pictures?
Flying, escaping, ticking, dissolving, being in a moment, sucked away with time, stillness and serenity, at peace, freedom in nature, journaling, delicacy, togetherness, support
Then it is back into the studio to work with these feelings. I improvise to them, take videos of the improvisation and see how the imagery comes to life in movement.
“Passing the time” creation
At the moment I am working on a duet for the Dance Nexus Festival at the end of August. It’s been an interesting process so far. I started with a piece of music that inspired me. It was to be the basis for the piece. Then the marketing for the festival required a title. So I was pushed to name the piece without having its details fully established. To do this, I went into the feeling of what I want to express and came up with “Passing the Time”. The naming of the piece suddenly opened up a whole new part to the creation as the feeling of the first piece of music was only partly encapsulated the title.
What do I mean by “passing the time”?
In my head it’s that moment of nothing. The moment between action. The moment where one may have to wait or have nothing to do.
what is this moment?
how does it feel?
and what happens then?
My personal experience says its feeling can be on a wide spectrum. Feelings I came up with:
daunting - anxiety producing
an empty void
frustration, boredom or restlessness
energy building in anticipation of what is to come.
curiosity and play
relaxation
soothe and regenerate
These are the themes that I came up with. And so, to produce and express them in a duet.
My next step was to search for a soundscape to fit the theme and represent its feeling. Through artists I previously had in mind, I came across some music pieces that inspire me. To create an atmosphere and integrate these pieces I’ve been experimenting with sound effects. My first association with time is a ticking clock. It gives that feeling of how time passes - a measurable definition.
The inverse also came to mind - how time stretches. It occurred to me especially in these moments of waiting, some moments can take forever. Others are so fleeting that I never get have the chance to be present or find the feeling I want.
Adding to the musical landscape I have been scrapbooking. It's an immersion process and source of inspiration to look for as many different ideas on the theme as I can find. New perspectives that I haven't thought of, pictures, images, symbols and quotes. The internet is such a wonderful rich place to search right on your fingertips.
Things I have found out / remembered by exploring the idea so far:
It’s amazing how the feeling of time changes. I created a music track which listening to seemed quite harmonious and clear. Get up and move to it and suddenly it feels different.
My aim is to establish a deep connection with the feeling expressed. For example: the pauses and breath needed felt missing as the visual stimulus came into play. A ticking clock when you listen to it is clear after a short while. Yet the nuances of how this feels, expressed and transmitted to a viewer take a lot longer to pass on. Inversely, sections that musically felt ok, suddenly became repetitious and drawn out. Seeing someone move to them, gives a whole other feeling. In the end, experimentation and physical implementation is so important to find how long an idea needs to express itself in full. It all comes down to intuition.
Miss the clarity and you can get a little lost.
As I started working on the idea, I went into the studio and improvised to the music. Sure the music, being an extension of the idea, had the right influence. Yet the ideas expressed in movement lacked clarity. Feeling yes, form no! So back to the drawing board I went to find the form. I find form often comes from a head space. It is thought out and constructed. It gives the ideas clarity, yet is empty without feeling. So what I am searching for is the right mix of form and feeling. To find that sweet spot where both support each other to express the idea together.
This is how far I have come… On with the creative process!
Continued on the next page
Populismus - using dance as a means to express the subject Populism.
As I reflect on the message behind my creation two things stand out. Both were important as I created the piece and both have a very powerful effect.
The first is the body language of populists. It is something that I really wanted to explore and connect with. A lot is said and analysed in regards populists rhetoric. Their words and the simplicity of their slogans as well as their sense of performance and show. The less highlighted yet equally important part, is the power of their physical gestures and the movement they use. These are the bodily symbols of their identity - symbolism, simple and clear. These gestures, captured in photos and icons, send pictures (and now videos in this TikTok age) around the world. They are used to connect with their followers and give physical meaning to their words.
As I started working on the piece, I collected pictures of populists making speeches and photos of them with crowds, looking at their mimicry. No matter what the cause, there are so many similarities in body language in both left and right wing politicians, as well as diverse political movement like Black Lives Matter or Fridays for Future.
Football Fans
BLM
Trump
Sanders
Milei
Greta
My belief is it comes back to the emotionality that is connected to physical posture and its power. I was at a football game two weeks ago and there again you see the same gestures among fans, the connection combined with chanting and attachment that all heighten the emotion!
How do you put these gestures into a dance piece? You use them and bring them to life.
The second thing that stood out: is how populism and its gestures creep up on us.
Context really matters. A gesture in its first instance can be fun, considered an “in joke”. Repeat the gesture often enough and it becomes a habit. The habit can quickly become a part of an identity, a rallying call that then gets assigned a much larger meaning.
Take the moment of a fist pump. It may be a movement you do to express joy at your football team winning. Something that happens regularly. Stand the same fans in front of an opposing group, the same movement becomes a show of strength at a rally. It is also used as a symbol of defiance in standing your ground or a symbol of anger at injustice and fight. The same effect can be seen at political rallies.
A moving example of body language and this effect is a simple march. In being together it can show a group in harmony. In a parade it shows pride and joy. Give it a darker colour and dynamic and it becomes a force to be reckoned with. Create an external threat and it is force of protection. In extreme conformity, one misstep in a march may be the end.
All these movements and gestures feed on our love of familiarity, simplicity and the connection that is created as we do them together.
To the context, the big question is: Who really has control over a movements narrative?
11 words to Populism - Elfchen
Doing a little creative exercise. Eleven words to Populism.
Start with one word, then a second line with 2, third with 3 and fourth with 4. Write populism at the end (11 words)!
Ease
Powerful force
Changes the world
Devours who we are
Populism
or
Verlockend
Welt verändern
Schaffen es gemeinsam
Ein Teil meiner Identität
Populismus
Leave yours in the comments!